Theres so much talk these days about what differentiates someone who has been successful compared to the others. What is it that these people do which the others don’t? Whats the secret to success? There are so many books written on this subject and there is 1 thing which stands out in each one of these books I have read. Well I realised this today when I learnt it from my 20 month old toddler.
I’ve always heard that children are great teachers. In one of my previous posts I wrote about what my elder son taught me about life. Today I got my second lesson, this time from my 20 month old. Its been a wet day where I live (quite unusual for this time of the year), so we decided to stay home and chill out. We sat down for our evening tea and I had my 20 month old coming in for his share. I wanted him to get his brother to join us for our snack and instructed my son to go fetch his elder brother. So far so good. He seemed to understand what I asked of him and he went dashing across to the bedroom to get his brother. Now I was curious what would happen next. My younger one does not speak much yet except for a vocabulary of 5 words. So I wanted to see how he would execute this task. So I follow him and watch!.
At first he walks up to his brother and starts talking in kiddy speak. His brother is busy reading something and clearly ignores his younger brother assuming that he is just blabbering away. Now my little one gets a bit upset and raises his voice in at attempt to get his brothers attention. No response from his brother. Now my younger won jumps on to the bed and starts patting and pulling his brother and makes all kids of signals. By this point my elder one is clearly getting a bit irritated. He moves away and pushes his younger brother on the side. Determined not to give up my 20 month old finally holds his brothers hand and his shirt and starts pulling him. After a bit of struggle he finally manages to get him into the kitchen.
Now to a lot of you parents out there, this is nothing great. All kids do this kind of stuff and I’m not trying to suggest here that my kid did something extraordinary. However the incident teaches us one of the valuable lessons which we as adults seem to have forgotten. Its a simple message we have heard in many different versions. Winners dont quit, Never Give Up, and many more. Any parent will agree that one of the strongest and sometimes irritating quality in kids is PERSISTENCE!.
Kids can go on and on when they want something. They can drive you nuts once they have set their mind on something and wont stop until they have got what they want.
Theres a very simple but powerful story about the Red Indians . It was a very challenging time for them as the land they lived on had suffered from drought for a long period and the tribes were suffering as a result of the lack of water, lack of vegetation and lack of food. Across the land, and in this time of desperation, the legend grew of the tribe that could dance and make it rain.
The other tribes set the goal to make it rain. Some would dance for 20-30 minutes but stop with no success. Others would dance for hours until their feet blistered and give up. Some tribes would even dance for days on end but give in to their aching backs and the ridicule from neighbouring tribes. They would all give up disheartened and just as dry as when they started.
A decision was finally made to track down this legendary tribe and find the secret to their success. So the chiefs from all the tribes took off in search of this one tribe. When they found the tribe, they sat at the feet of its chief and pleaded; “Oh great chief, we have tried to make it rain, we are suffering, we need your help. How can you make it rain? What is your secret?”
“There is no secret,” Explained the chief, “Our method is simple – WE DANCE UNTIL IT RAINS”.
So what does it mean to have PERSISTENCE?. Here is my take from my experience from watching my children and others
1. Be sure of what is it that you want.
My elder son is very focussed on what it is that he wants. My mom once took him shopping for a toy and after having surveyed the floor he decided on what he wanted. As is the case most of the times, its something we dint want him to have as he had few similar stuff. But he was so firm that no matter what my mom showed him, he refused to change his mind. Most of the times we are either not sure on what we want or are unable to decide. We need to have a good idea of what it is we are after and then go for it. Just in case you are wondering, my mom did not buy the toy for him. We can get away by using a bit of force with kids!!
2. Dont take no for an answer.
One of the biggest problems with adults unlike children is that as soon as we hit the first or the second road block, we give up. Our so called intellect takes over and we come up with all kinds of reasons. We try 1 maybe 2 things and then stop. Kids on the other hand will not take no for an answer. They are born negotiators and will keep trying till they have their way. If they can’t have their way, then they get creative and come up with alternatives. So the next time life says NO to you, don’t accept it. Get creative and look for What you can do rather that What you cannot do.
3. Say No to Excuses
Kids have this amazing and most of the times confusing way of challenging your answers. When you try and explain why they can’t do or have something, they will always have some kind of reasoning around why they should. The stuff they say may seem completely irrelevant to an adult. The point her though is that you really cant find good enough excuses.
If there is on word which I recommend that you should remove from your vocabulary that would be BUT. But is an argument for our limitations. When we argue for our limitation we get to keep them
4. Don’t stop until you Win
This is the essence of PERSISTENCE. You don’t stop until you have got what you want. Now you need to make sure you check where you are going, how you are doing along the way and make any corrections. You may also have to slow down when the tide seems going against you. But no matter what make sure you are always moving towards your goal.
Here is a great motivational talk from one of my favourite speakers, Les Brown. Enjoy
If you enjoyed the video you may also like my post on Les Brown
What do you think?
What is the one word which you think separates the success stories from the rest. Why do you think it matters?. Share your thoughts below