My first life lesson from my six year old

You’ve probably heard this many times that we can all learn a lot from kids. I had my first experience the other day from my son. Like every day I went to wake him up to get ready for school. As I approached him I lay with him on his bed, gave him a hug and a kiss and wished him good morning. He wished me the same but was lazy to get up. So I decided to tickle him a bit and in the process put my leg over his. Now for those of you who know me, you know that that it can be scary to have a 6 foot 4 inch man sit on top of you. My son screamed his lungs out in anger as he was still very cozy in his bed and we all know how irritating it is when someone tries to wake you up in the morning.

While my son’s reaction was normal from anyone who experienced some physical pain, what surprised me (at least it did later) was my reaction to the situation. I got very upset that my son screamed at me and I took it very personally and felt hurt. At the moment I got off the bed and told him that he should get ready on his own for school. I was upset, angry and very emotional that my son did not appreciate my love for him. A typical adult reaction when our love is not reciprocated. Nevertheless he got out of his bed and started preparing to go to school. For around 5 minutes I did not speak to him and then we both went to the bathroom to brush our teeth.

What happened after this was the first lesson that my son taught me. While brushing, while I was still thinking about what had happened, my son was busy playing and doing what he does always. Asking me loads of questions. He was behaving as if nothing had happened. At this point I had a choice. I could have reacted further and felt more hurt that my son did not care. But this time what happened surprised me as well.My son showed me the beauty of not hanging on to our hurt and pain and moving on. I almost felt like I had been enlightened instantly.  Instead of going into anger and hurt, the whole situation revealed itself as one of the biggest Life Lessons all adults can learn from kids.

To LET GO!

This incident reminded me of a famous story about two monks who were on a pilgrimage. One day, they came to a deep river. At the edge of the river, a young woman sat weeping, because she was afraid to cross the river without help. She begged the two monks to help her. The younger monk turned his back. The members of their order were forbidden to touch a woman.

But the older monk picked up the woman without a word and carried her across the river. He put her down on the far side and continued his journey. The younger monk came after him, scolding him and berating him for breaking his vows. He went on this way for a long time.

Finally, at the end of the day the older monk turned to the younger one. “I only carried her across the river. You have been carrying her all day.”

My situation and the monk’s story give us valuable lessons about life. Despite having the knowledge that we should all live in the present, most of us find it extremely difficult to let go of our past. Some of us hold on to our past pain, hurt, hatred, anger, etc. for days, months and sometimes even years. Sometime the person who actually you think caused you the pain, anger or hurt is not even in your life anymore, but we still cling on the emotions. That person may have said or done something “once”, but we replay that event in our heads again and again thinking about why the person said or did what they did. The fact of the matter is that NO ONE can hurt you or give you pain. At least not emotionally or mentally. Now this is a difficult concept to digest. But take time to think about it. People can cheat you, betray you, lie to you, deceive you, commit fraud, etc., but they can NEVER hurt you. There’s only ONE person who can hurt you. That person is YOU!. If you want you can choose not to be hurt by what the other person does. Of course this comes from a deeper understanding of the self and through self-management. Think about it and next time and me someone says or does something which you don’t like, stop and tak a moment to think of the choice you want to make. Do you want to go into an emotional outrage or anger, hurt, pain, etc or are you going to choose to take charge of your response. Of Course this is not going to happen over night and will need practice. But once you have created the awareness, it starts becoming easier!